In Memoriam
by BadassGenius
Summary: Derek has something to say.    Summary sucks but, again, i don't want to give too much away.


**Fandom:** Grey's Anatomy  
**Character: **Addison & Derek  
**Rating:** T  
**Status**: One Shot  
**Disclaimer : **Characters and show belongs to Shonda Rhimes. The title is in latin, for those who don't know the language, it stands for "In the memory of" or even "As a memorial to".

**Author's Note: ** I've had this in my mind for days but I've never found some extra time to write it down. It's nothing really special, just something different I wanted to write.

**In Memoriam**

"Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery Shepherd was my wife" Derek started talking in front of a large crowd "She was the most brilliant woman I've ever known. One of the best surgeons I've ever had the pleasure to work with. Addison was like a shooting star. She really was one of a kind" he stopped and chuckled a little "Addie… She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm so grateful she gave me the chance to be her husband" Derek felt the need to stop once again, the pain was just so real "Sadly, there's been a time in which I was a complete jerk but she… We made it in the end, because you can't fight love, you know?" his question was more a rhetoric question rather than a real one "Love is what have kept us together until the very end. I've loved her so much and I know that she has loved me till her dying day" he sighed and shiny little tears started streaming down his face "She would have been a great mother, it's such a shame we never had a little baby to cuddle and play with. She wanted a baby so badly… I wish I could have made her wish come true but I'm not God. I wish I was, but I'm not. Neither science didn't really help us in having a baby. It was just the two of us and it was enough, we were used to it" Derek's voice started to tremble "I wish I was a better man, a better husband. I'll never forgive myself for not being with her all the time. I should have never left her but, like I said before, I'll never be thankful enough to my wife for taking me back after all the things I've put her through" he stopped and took a deep breath "The years I've spent with her are the happiest years of my life. The best ones. You all knew Addison: she was funny to be around, she loved making jokes, she was kind to everyone, she would help everyone. Of course, my wife had her flaws too but we all know that Addison was one of the best women around here" Derek started crying and sobbing, silently "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he said, wiping the tears away. All the people started to clap their hands, in order to give him support, to let him know that they were there for him "Addison has never been a very religious woman but I'm sure that she's in Heaven now. She's in Heaven because of all the lives she has saved during her life, because all her good actions. Every time Addie lost a patient, she felt bed. She became a doctor because she wanted to help people, she wanted to do something great. And she did. She delivered my sister Nancy's daughter who was breech and had her umbilical cord around her throat. Addison made a miracle there" he swallowed and then started talking again "I loved everything about her. The way she said my name, her being moody in the morning, her beautiful red hair, the way she always did her best in everything she did. Not just as a surgeon but as a wife, as a woman. She changed me, she made me a better man" Derek took another deep breath because the hardest part was about to come "The day she died, I wasn't with her. I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I hate myself for that. Mark, my best friend, says that it's not my fault. But it is. I couldn't have known that that night, out of all nights, a drunk driver would hit Addison's car. She was coming home but she never came. I was sleeping when Chief Weber called me, telling me that there was an emergency, that it was about my wife. I drove as fast as I could but when I arrived, she was already gone. She died alone, I wasn't there to hold her hand when she exhaled her last breath…" Derek was now sobbing and so were most of the people who were attending the ceremony "I'm sorry, Addison. I really am. I'll never forgive myself for doing this to you. I couldn't have known it, that's for sure, but I could have waited for you up. If I wasn't sleeping, I would have made it to the hospital right on time. You wouldn't have died alone. I'm alone now and I just don't feel like living without you, I feel numb and incomplete. I'm so scared. I miss you every day and the pain just doesn't fade away. I miss all the little things. Everything" Derek looked up at the sky "My beloved Addison, we'll meet again. I promise. You're the best wife I could have ever asked for and I will never forget you. Ever. I just wish you were here with me, I can't believe I've just done this speech for you. It's not fair, Addie. It should have been me. I mean it. I love you Addison, I love you so much but I have to let you go. Goodbye Addison. Goodbye love of my life" Derek ended his speech, his legs were trembling and Mark, seeing that his best friend was unstable, walked to him and got him. Derek caressed the cold wooden coffin and it was put into the ground. Derek's closest friends surrounded him, trying to calm him, to ease his pain. That was the darkest day of Derek's life.

_Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery Shepherd_

_10.13.1967 – 03.08.2015_

_Beloved wife and daughter._

_Lost but not forgotten, you'll stay in our hearts for every day until eternity._


End file.
